Have You Ever Felt Stuck Focusing on What You Want?
You may have heard that Tony Robbins quote “Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows. ” this quote helps us see how our focus and emotions can sabotage our goals but let’s go deeper to understand more.
Have you ever focused so hard on what you want that it leaves you feeling frustrated or stuck because it feels so far away?
When you’re focused on a goal or dream, you’re often in the mindset of “I want, I need,” which can lead to feelings of lack.
If we stay in that headspace, it can trigger thoughts like:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I can’t cope.”
- “Maybe I’ll never have more than I do now.”
This can lead to low mood and low energy, pushing us even further from our goals because we’re not in a passionate, energized state to take action or make decisions.
What If You Focused on How You Want to Feel to Achieve Your Goals?
What if, instead of focusing on the end outcome, you focused on how you want to feel?
Why Feelings Matter
Research from the Institute of HeartMath shows that positive emotions like gratitude and joy can regulate the nervous system and improve decision-making and problem-solving. When we focus on how we want to feel, it can:
- Boost our energy and motivation
- Help us make clearer decisions
- Shift us out of a scarcity mindset and into a state of abundance
Think about why you want to achieve a certain goal. It’s not just about the thing itself—it’s about the feeling it will give you. For example:
- A big business goal might represent security or success.
- A dream car might represent freedom or excitement.
But once we achieve those things, we often move the goalposts. We set new business goals or dream of an even better car.
If you focus instead on how you want to feel, and find ways to create that feeling now, you’ll not only show up differently but also take back control of your emotions.
How to Feel Good Now
You don’t need extravagant experiences to feel good. For instance, I can choose to feel joy by having coffee in a teacup and saucer in my office. I don’t need to go to The Ritz in London to experience the same feeling—I can create it for myself right now.
Action Steps to Align Your Feelings and Goals
Here are some actionable steps to help you tap into the power of feelings:
- Get Clarity
Ask yourself: How do I want to feel? Is it secure, calm, confident, or content? Write it down. - Identify Triggers for Those Feelings
What activities or environments make you feel that way? It could be as simple as sipping coffee in a cozy corner or going for a walk in nature. - Take Small Actions
Start incorporating those activities into your daily routine.- If calmness is your goal, schedule 10 minutes for meditation or journaling.
- If confidence is what you’re after, wear an outfit that makes you feel great.
- Reassess Your Goals
Look at your vision board or list of goals. Are they aligned with the feelings you want to cultivate? If not, adjust them to reflect your true desires. - Practice Gratitude
Find moments in your day to appreciate what you already have. Gratitude amplifies positive emotions and helps you stay present.
Get Addicted to the Feelings, Not the Outcomes
We often chase external goals, thinking they’ll bring us happiness, only to find ourselves setting new targets once we achieve them.
But when you focus on how you want to feel, the journey becomes just as fulfilling as the destination. You’ll discover that the joy, contentment, or excitement you seek is already within reach—if you know where to look.
If you want to listen to this as a PODCAST episode you’ll find that here
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